April 27, 2013, 6:18 pm


Many have written in appreciation of Priyani Abeyeskera (nee Tennekoon), who passed away recently. We, her "gang" of close friends, are writing to share the impact she had on our individual and collective lives, since we first encountered each other in our earliest years at Ladies’ College. Priyani would probably chide us for doing this. She was humble and self-effacing to a fault, never seeking the lime-light herself, but rejoicing and glowing in the success of others. But our strong, unique friendship with Priyani compels this expression of our love and gratitude.

Priyani was an exceptional human being. We were blessed to have her in our lives for over five decades, encompassing our childhood pranks, our long-suffering parents, our slightly bemused teachers, our teenage uncertainties, our academic lives, our professional careers, our spouses and our children. In school, seriousness about studies and leadership as a house captain did not dampen her sense of mischief, including trying to plunge a classroom into darkness by removing the light bulb, and playing cards illicitly in the Prefects’ Room, which doubled informally as a Sixth Form common room.

When Priyani entered university, she chose to apply her precise and orderly mind to the study of Law, to the delight of her "Appachchi," the late Victor Tennekoon, a renowned jurist himself. Law was a field in which she excelled academically and professionally. She was placed first in order of merit in her final examinations at both the Faculty of Law and the Sri Lanka Law College. After teaching briefly at the Faculty, she obtained a Masters in Law from Monash University. On her return, she chose the challenge of the commercial world over academia. After a short stint with Trans Asia Hotel, she took a legal position at Airlanka (now Sri Lankan Airlines), where she worked until she retired in 2012.

At Sri Lankan Airlines, a major part of Priyani’s work involved negotiating agreements and contracts, but she also oversaw litigation. Many important cases involving Sri Lankan were decided during her tenure as Manager, and later, Senior Manager, Legal. Her career at Sri Lankan was characterized by integrity and loyalty to the institution, whatever the pressures and wherever they came from. She commanded enormous respect professionally as a person who "always did what she believed was right." She and her husband Harin instilled the principles and values they lived by so well in their son Ishan, her "boy", and her "pride, her joy and her comfort still".

It was not all work and no play. As a young woman, Priyani was a swimmer and played hockey for Ladies’ College, Colombo University and the Ceylonese Ladies Club. She had an abiding interest in all sports; she avidly followed cricket and tennis, and was elated to attend the 2012 Olympics with an equally sports-mad friend. Her eclectic musical taste ranged from classical to rock. She loved to dance, and dragged Harin to Salsa and Latin dancing classes. She had an innate sense of rhythm, and as a school girl would drum on anything she could get hold of, a potential career as a drummer in a band thwarted by her excellent academic results! On the dance floor and in yoga classes, some of us attended together, she demonstrated an elegance of movement none of us could match.

We each brought our strong personalities into our friendship, but Priyani was, as one friend remarked, "the gentlest of us all and gave of herself unconditionally." She made strong and diverse friendships throughout her academic and professional life. She did not flinch going the ‘extra mile’ to help a person in need, whether it was shielding colleagues from violence or making sure an ambulance was at the aircraft to transport the seriously ill mother of a friend. She unstintingly gave of her time and resources to help villagers in the border areas during the period of conflict, travelling in difficult and sometimes dangerous conditions.

To the parents of Priyani’s friends, she was another daughter, finding the time to visit when their own children were busy or away. She was just as caring and giving when it came to the younger generation, an "aunt" who followed our children’s journeys in life and shared joyously in their achievements. It was Priyani you turned to, to make hats, blow balloons and help with games at your child’s birthday party, or to help arrange flowers for your daughter’s wedding.

Like her mother, Priyani opened her home to many and was a wonderful hostess. Whether you were invited on the spur of the moment or more formally, she prepared meals with care and style. Priyani organised a trip to Wilpattu last year; and, although not strong enough to go on all the game rounds, she set the menus, did all the shopping and oversaw all the meals. Often, Priyani and Harin, returning from their estate, would appear on our doorsteps with bags of whatever fruit was in season. Even when we visited in the last few days of her life, Priyani was concerned about whether we had been served, and we were each given a bag of mangoes from her tree to take home.

Priyani loved to travel. Observing wild life, visiting historical monuments, hiking amid scenic splendour, whether roughing it in tents or sleeping in comfortable hotels, all she wanted was close friends to share the experience. In May 2010, on a wonderful trip together to Jaffna and Delft, Priyani delighted in the beautiful kovils, palmyrah trees, wild ponies, aged baobab and banyan trees, and in swimming in the calm, still sea. In September 2011, on holiday together in Spain, she revelled in the majesty of the Alhambra, cooking meals together in a little villa in Andalucia, and wandering among olive and fig trees and the beautiful El Torcal with its mountain goats and rock formations.

Priyani lived her life with dignity and composure. It was reflected in her demeanour and in the elegant but understated way she dressed, perfectly groomed whether in the traditional ‘osariya’ in Sri Lanka and superbly cut business suits in Europe for more formal events, or the tomboy shorts and t-shirts she relaxed in at home. Although she held strong opinions, she rarely said a sharp word or ruffled any feathers. She had a great sense of humour and her canny comments would either keep us in stitches, or put us firmly but gently in our place when she felt the need. Her witty rejoinders had no malice and she did not have an envious bone in her body. Our joys and successes were her joys and successes, and she bore our sorrows and failures with us.

Priyani epitomised the old adage, "In this world of froth and bubble, two things stand like stone, kindness in another’s trouble, courage in one’s own." Would that we could have borne some of the anxiety, pain and discomfort she had to face in the last few years of her life. While we each gained from our friendship, Priyani was and will remain "the jewel in the crown" as one of our spouses described her, the patient listener, the giver of sound advice whenever sought, the bonding force who kept us together. We each learned from her example and from the gift of her friendship. We "thank our God upon every remembrance" of her and each moment that we spent together.

Sharya Scharenguivel

Priyanthi Fernando

Anila Dias Bandaranaike

Dilkusha de Costa

Shanti Conly

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